"To capture another's heart we must first capture our own" - Brett Blumental

 

Relationships are tricky and today's dating scene doesn't make it any easier. Many of us experience a push-pull dynamic around dating - we crave connection but we keep people at arms length, limited by our own fears. We blow chances or we settle for less than we hope for.

I warmly invite you to be yourself, to shine, to love yourself, body and soul. Authenticity evokes connection. Confidence evokes respect and admiration. That's what this work is all about.

I can help you:

  • Be relaxed and clear-headed on your next date.
  • Feel inherently valuable, loveable, and beautiful.
  • Have an intuitive sense of the values and motivation of the people you meet.
  • Invite emotional connection and "chemistry" without playing games or feeling exposed.

And the best thing is that it's not a method, not a facade, but simply you... comfortable in your own skin, your most radiant self.

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Your First Session

Hamish3a-250x250I've been blessed with a warm and open disposition - it's easy for me find rapport, offer kindness, and genuinely like the people I meet. People feel good around me. This therapeutic relationship sets a baseline for what you can expect (and should demand) from a romantic relationship.

The setting, and the work will create for you a "lived experience" of feeling accepted, comfortable, and safe in the presence of a stranger. As conversation moves to deeper issues - like your fears, life challenges, and insecurities - you will continue to feel affirmed. It will set up a new pattern of confidence and feeling validated. You will see your true self, reflected in the people you meet... people who like you because of who you are!

The actual therapy will vary widely, according to your personal needs, so we will likely spend much of the first session talking, finding rapport and a common understanding of your needs and fears. Many have had distressing experiences in past relationships, so conversations are based on "trauma informed care" - an awareness that the conversation may evoke distressing feelings, and a skill set to manage these toward healing.

Others may experience difficulty trusting, receiving kindness or compliments, being seen and heard, asking, saying no (or yes), setting boundaries... a raft of skills that are so important in life, but especially in intimate relationships. We practice these, not in role-play but with authentic conversations and interactions where you can feel challenged and transcend your fears.

As an embodied therapist, I mostly work with mindful awareness of body sensations; this is the most direct way to "feel at home in your own skin". Sensation is a reflection of emotion... consider a "sinking feeling in the stomach" or "skin crawling". When we can be truly comfortable with the sensations of the body, we can feel whole, at ease, and confident... these are really attractive qualities that will allow you to shine.

“What point is a loving partner if we cannot receive love”

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About Me

"Every human being deserves to feel safe, free to express themselves, sovereign in their own body, and able to make confident choices in life".

These are the four pillars of my practice but the text has also become my personal statement of universal human rights, and my wish for every person within every relationship.

My favourite thing in the world is to facilitate life-affirming experiences between strangers - hosting travellers, making introductions, running workshops, and community events. The common thread... bringing nervous people together and watching them shine in each other's company.

Testimonial

"I can't think of anyone better to teach me or others about massage, love, or being present with another human. (Facebook recommendation for a couples workshop)"

FAQ

Is this for me?

This work relevant to anyone seeking personal insight, growth, balance, or resilience. It is likely the therapy of choice if emotion plays a big role in your life - either as a source of vitality and inspiration, or of struggle.

This page specifically refers to feeling safe in the world. The need for safety is often born of a difficult childhood, social, physical, sexual, or emotional trauma, bullying, deceit, violation of trust, and controlling relationships.

You will need to do some work to "feel and heal", but if you want to change your emotions - to feel more vibrant, more stable, more aligned, more trusting, more anything - you will likely find value in the work.

How long will it take?

Drop any idea of being "in therapy" for years. Embodied interventions tend to be short, and I want each session to bring meaningful change. The session time tends to create personal insights and new perspectives, which unfold in the week ahead. For a time, it will raise more questions than answers, so I would usually recommend a series of at least 3 sessions, no more than 8 in a stretch.

Often people seek help when they feel in crisis, and quickly feel the pressure is off... the crisis has been averted. I strongly recommend further sessions to consolidate the changes you have made. That way, you can make some small tweaks in your life and feel more resilient for your future.

I've had therapy before, how will this be different?

There are two distinct ways of addressing difficult life challenges. The top down approach (most talk therapy) is to hear the story and the meaning we have layered upon it, recognise the underlying belief, challenge and discredit distorted beliefs, behave differently, and feel ok again.

 

Embodied emotional therapy is a bottom up therapy, based on the idea of bodymind. How we feel within our bodies has a huge influence on how we think - “my heart is racing, therefore I feel afraid”. And our thoughts influence our bodies - like the sinking feeling in your gut when you realise you have missed an appointment.

 

The magic of this work is that body sensations give us insight into our emotions.

  • Becoming comfortable with the sensations can bring emotional healing.
  • Feeling sensation in numb areas can restore vitality.
  • And calming our physiological state can make the world a safe place again.

 

Bottom up therapies tend to bring flashes of insight. The mind can quickly join the dots between a sensation, an emotion, a forgotten memory, and an unfulfilled need. We can understand and heal the ever-repeating story that had us stuck.

 

How can I get the most from this work?

The strong intention with this work is to create an island of safety and gradually extend it out into your world. The best way is to show deep kindness and patience with yourself, and communicate your feelings as they arise so I can help you find a place of deep safety in-session.

Beforehand, try noticing any small thing that helps you feel lighter, or brings comfort. I don't recommend challenging yourself, trying to figure things out, or pushing to achieve something. Give yourself a wee holiday beforehand and the session work will flow more easily.

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