So much of modern life pulls us into our heads. We analyse, strategise, and intellectualise, trying to “figure out” who we are. But identity isn’t something we construct in our minds—it’s something we experience through our bodies.
The philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty argued that perception is not just something we think about—it’s something we do with our whole being. Before we label ourselves, before we create a narrative, we already exist through movement, sensation, and posture. Our identity is not a fixed thought but a lived, felt experience.
Why Thinking Harder Doesn’t Lead to Self-Knowledge
When clients tell me they feel lost, confused, or stuck, they’re often caught in a mental loop—going over the same thoughts without resolution. The harder they try to think their way to clarity, the further away it seems.
This is where embodied identity comes in. Identity is not just an idea—it is an ongoing bodily process. When we bring our awareness into the body, particularly into the belly, something shifts. We stop thinking about who we are and instead feel it.
The Body Knows More Than the Mind Can Say
Psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin developed a practice called Focusing, which helps people access their felt sense—a deep, pre-verbal bodily knowing. He found that real clarity doesn’t come from forcing an answer but from listening to the body.
- The Felt Sense: That deep, subtle bodily knowing that is more than just emotion—it is meaning felt in the body.
- The Handle: A word, image, or phrase that emerges from the felt sense and resonates deeply.
- The Shift: When we find the right “handle”, there is a softening, a release, a sense of that’s it!. The body relaxes, and clarity emerges.
Finding Your Embodied Identity
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from yourself, try this practice to tap into your embodied identity:
1. Settle Into Your Body
Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and bring your awareness to your belly. Feel its weight, its presence.
2. Sense Without Words
Ask yourself, Who am I, in this moment? Don’t try to answer with words—just notice what sensations, images, or feelings arise in your body. Stay with them.
3. Find a Handle
Let a word, phrase, or image come to you. It might not make sense at first—trust it. Maybe it’s “steady”, “rooted”, or “a tree in the wind”. Whatever resonates, hold it lightly.
4. Notice the Shift
If the word or image is right, something in your body will shift—perhaps a deep breath, a loosening, a sense of recognition. If nothing shifts, stay curious and open to what emerges.
Living From Your Essence
When you start listening to your body, you stop chasing an intellectualised idea of yourself and start inhabiting who you already are. Your true self isn’t something you invent—it’s something you come home to.
By practising embodied awareness, you strengthen your connection to your core essence. You make decisions from a place of deep knowing rather than external expectation. You move through life not as an abstract self-concept, but as a fully present, embodied being.
Your identity is not a thought—it’s an experience. Live in it.