The “Let Them” Mindset

Discover the “Let Them” mindset—a simple but powerful way to stop chasing approval, reclaim your energy, and return to emotional peace. Learn how shifting from suffering states to beautiful states can help you come home to yourself through somatic awareness and compassionate boundaries.

Be yourself without losing connection

How to free yourself from what others think and do

Have you ever caught yourself gripping tightly to someone else’s choices—what they think, what they do, whether they see your worth? Maybe you’ve bent yourself in knots trying to be understood, included, or approved of. And maybe, no matter how much effort you gave, it still didn’t land.

There’s a quiet kind of heartbreak in those moments. And also, an opportunity.

You do You, I’ll do Me

There’s a concept floating around online called the “Let Them” mindset. It’s simple, and strangely powerful:

  • If they want to leave, let them.
  • If they misunderstand you, let them.
  • If they don’t value what you offer, let them.

It’s not a rule for life, but a doorway back to your own centre. You see, when we’re constantly reacting to what others think or do, we can lose touch with our own energy. We get pulled out of ourselves—into worry, performance, people-pleasing, control.

Transforming suffering into “Beautiful States”

These are what some spiritual teachers call suffering states. They’re not bad or wrong—they’re just states of disconnection. From presence. From truth. From your body. From what actually matters.

In contrast, beautiful states are what emerge when we come home to ourselves:
Peace. Clarity. Self-respect. Compassion. Groundedness. Perhaps even joy.

How to find myself without losing others

And here’s the thing: letting go of other people’s reactions doesn’t mean becoming cold, avoidant, or uncaring. It means not abandoning yourself in pursuit of their approval. It means protecting your nervous system, your heart, and your energy—especially if you’re someone who feels deeply or has been through relational trauma.

In therapy, I often help clients gently shift from suffering states to beautiful ones—not by forcing positive thinking, but by coming into the body. That’s where the wisdom lives. Your gut knows when something feels wrong. Your chest knows when you’re constricted. Your breath knows when you’re safe.

So, what if you trusted that? What if the next time someone misunderstands you…:
You take a breath,
Drop into your belly,
And instead of chasing them, you come back to you?
That’s not giving up. That’s liberation.

Try this somatic practice

Next time you’re caught in a spiral of overthinking, or feeling that old ache of “why don’t they see me?”—pause.

Put a hand on your body, belly or chest, and ask yourself gently:

  • “Is this a suffering state? Or a beautiful state?”
  • “What would it feel like to let them… and let myself be?

You don’t need to get it perfect. This is a practice. A path.
Letting go is not an end, It’s a beginning…
Of peace. Of presence. Of you coming home to you.

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