Wholeness: The state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity.
We all want to make peace with the feelings within, yet we have battles raging within us. We feel conflicted, and we want to feel aligned. We only like some parts of ourselves, but want the love, peace and acceptance that comes from embracing them all.
It seems impossible to reconcile these tensions, some residing deep in our unconscious. Trying to think through them seems to only deepen the contradictions.
If we take the time to look, we will find the same tensions living in our bodies - for every conflicted emotion, there is an unpleasant sensation. This is where embodied therapies can help: we can make peace with the feelings within.
I can help you to:
- Understand why you do what you do, and why you feel what you feel
- Make peace with the struggle within you
You can then:
- Bring your life into alignment with your deepest values
- Let go of shame and self judgement
- Be your radiant self, no matter who is watching
- Experience more flow and ease in your life
This has been my experience: As we dive deeper and deeper into our own psyche, we end up in the body. Our physiology, and how we feel physically, has a profound effect on how we think, how we relate, and what we achieve. We can use the body to guide the mind.
Your First Session
“First comes awareness, then comes choice”
The “feel whole” sessions are about discovery and personal insight. Our conscious mind has an opinion about most things, but we will go deeper than that. It’s precisely in the contrast between conscious thought and embodied, unconscious processes that we gain awareness.
First we talk. In time, we will be taking a deep journey, so it’s important to build rapport and trust. This takes time and, if necessary, we will devote a large chunk of the first session to it.
You need to know that your struggles are universal - part of the human condition. We are not so different, you and me. So the conversation is about human nature; it’s interesting, it’s lighter, but oh so relevant still. Maybe it’s fun, maybe it’s tears and laughter in equal measure, but at some point we will feel “on the same wavelength”.
The work is about the body and we can do that in either of two ways:
Embodied Emotional Therapy
This is the most gritty, the most confronting, because you are largely responsible for your own journey. We will likely use a guided meditation to bring you into a deeply relaxed state, and take your awareness into the body. It’s usually done face-up on a massage table, fully clothed, with minimal physical contact.
As sensations arise, the subconscious tends to make connections between the sensation, emotions, and past experiences. As you sit quietly with the sensation, it settles, loses intensity, or moves to another part of the body. The magic of this work is that as it fades, so does the distress of past experiences - they lose their grip on you.
I will be holding a calm presence for you at all times - an anchor, to help you maintain your relaxed state. We have techniques, and you will have the choice, to step into or away from any emotion that is present.
Intuitive Emotional Massage
The bodywork is based on Swedish massage but the focus is on nervous energy and emotion. It tends to be comforting because we recognise and honour your emotional needs, and respond with nurturing touch. This can be a deeply healing experience, releasing emotional tension from the body.
The process usually includes gentle dialog in the early stages, slow nurturing touch with periods of stillness, and emotional attunement. Toward the end of the session you can expect to be in a state of deep relaxation. I offer words of affirmation, and reflect the insights you have gained during the session. These can usually be received deeply, without resistance or self-doubt.
Some people, more than others, need to turn inward to make sense of the world outside - so-called deep or spiritual people - that’s me. I sometimes wish I could see the world at its obvious face value, play the game, just do it… but that’s not me.
I’ve always felt the need to make sense of deep questions, and to find meaning. Turns out most people hit moments of difficulty when they too need to make sense of things and find meaning - so I’m very happy to be doing this work.
Of course, I’ve had my own long journey - especially of reconciling contradictions and polarities within myself. I’ve found a healthy sense of rebellion while being true to my values, and sensitive to others. I’ve reconciled sexual desire and sexual morality after a deeply religious phase. I’ve learned that people I despise sometimes hold the same pain and desires as me - they just express it differently.
I’ve learned, and this is a big one, to consider my own flaws, and my own options when I’m triggered, rather than blaming the other. And I’ve learned to be compassionate and loving toward myself - that alone is gift worth giving.
This work relevant to anyone seeking personal insight, growth, balance, or resilience. It is likely the therapy of choice if emotion plays a big role in your life - either as a source of vitality and inspiration, or of struggle.
This page specifically refers to feeling safe in the world. The need for safety is often born of a difficult childhood, social, physical, sexual, or emotional trauma, bullying, deceit, violation of trust, and controlling relationships.
You will need to do some work to "feel and heal", but if you want to change your emotions - to feel more vibrant, more stable, more aligned, more trusting, more anything - you will likely find value in the work.
Drop any idea of being "in therapy" for years. Embodied interventions tend to be short, and I want each session to bring meaningful change. The session time tends to create personal insights and new perspectives, which unfold in the week ahead. For a time, it will raise more questions than answers, so I would usually recommend a series of at least 3 sessions, no more than 8 in a stretch.
Often people seek help when they feel in crisis, and quickly feel the pressure is off... the crisis has been averted. I strongly recommend further sessions to consolidate the changes you have made. That way, you can make some small tweaks in your life and feel more resilient for your future.
There are two distinct ways of addressing difficult life challenges. The top down approach (most talk therapy) is to hear the story and the meaning we have layered upon it, recognise the underlying belief, challenge and discredit distorted beliefs, behave differently, and feel ok again.
Embodied emotional therapy is a bottom up therapy, based on the idea of bodymind. How we feel within our bodies has a huge influence on how we think - “my heart is racing, therefore I feel afraid”. And our thoughts influence our bodies - like the sinking feeling in your gut when you realise you have missed an appointment.
The magic of this work is that body sensations give us insight into our emotions.
- Becoming comfortable with the sensations can bring emotional healing.
- Feeling sensation in numb areas can restore vitality.
- And calming our physiological state can make the world a safe place again.
Bottom up therapies tend to bring flashes of insight. The mind can quickly join the dots between a sensation, an emotion, a forgotten memory, and an unfulfilled need. We can understand and heal the ever-repeating story that had us stuck.
The strong intention with this work is to create an island of safety and gradually extend it out into your world. The best way is to show deep kindness and patience with yourself, and communicate your feelings as they arise so I can help you find a place of deep safety in-session.
Beforehand, try noticing any small thing that helps you feel lighter, or brings comfort. I don't recommend challenging yourself, trying to figure things out, or pushing to achieve something. Give yourself a wee holiday beforehand and the session work will flow more easily.
Or keep the door open
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